and more

We found a pile of clothes hidden in her room. A pile of clothes that had "messes" in them. It was obvious she found her way into something to help her go to the bathroom. She is supposed to eat in front of us, so she found a way for it not to stick around. I don't keep things like that in the house. So the question is does she have a friend involved or did she get her hands on something? I'll get to all of that after I tell you about the confrontation.

I had taken clothes into her room she got for Christmas, clean ones to put away. I smelled something, a mess. Did one of the dogs get in there? It I found it after moving things around. There were several pairs of shorts, underwear, sweats. She was obviously embarrassed. So we gathered it all up, while also emptying all her drawers, closet to see what she was hiding. I found no drugs or laxatives. Nothing else of note, her room was in the middle of her floor. She collapsed in a pile and cried, just tears. All she could say is she was so ashamed. It was a reaction of a kid who just got caught, again. 

I took the dirty clothes, whiteout mentioning I thought this was self-inflicted, and left her to totally overhaul her room. She had to clean it totally.

It hit me, I do have something in the house, something that I never would have thought of, but it says it right on the package. Epsom Salt. 

She has access to Epsom Salt. Her sister takes baths for her arthritis. I soak when my back acts up.

 I quietly broke down into a million pieces inside.

She isn't just dabbling. 

She isn't just testing the waters.

I didn't catch this early.

She's serious.

Not that I didn't know that or think she was, it just hits you like arctic air. You're child is so desperate, she's drinking water and epsom salt. 

I put the Epsom Salt out of her reach and now I'm monitoring her laundry. Which turned into a freak out. She felt the need to throw her underwear in my face, at one point. We're having temper and emotion issues. This is to be expected. She's on meds for her anxiety but it's only been about four weeks, we need to up the dosage. It's a learning curve. 

I called the Doctor and the specialist today, we will see what we're doing next. I'm asking the specialist if there is anyone she knows of that will work with us, on our side of town. They also have satellite locations, so if it's an option to see someone versed in ED at the one near us. I don't need a specialist, just experience even. 

As for her eating overall? 

The night after the visit to the specialist visit she didn't eat. She didn't eat anything of worth for two days. Then I told her that wasn't an option. I had my surgery, so I'm not sure how the other meals went for a few days. Break started and I know she tried to snack (during all this we found the clothes). There has been a lot of snacking and picking, or complaining about spices, taste. It's back to square one, in my opinion. 

That's the update for now.