(I know I haven't shared with a lot of people, but is commenting not a thing? I need feedback.)
I kind of expected her to be all over the board and she is. Emotions are up and down, tears flow frequently. The therapist I want her to see isn't available for a few more weeks. Frustration. She is struggling more than she leads on with middle school I fear. She's so sensitive. I often tell her to get over it and move on. I coddled her for so long, but she's a cancer, if you believe in that, so a sensitive soul.
Last night she asked for homemade cream of chicken soup and ate a few bites.
She's starting to layer her clothes more. She wore leggings, a skirt, tank, shirt and jacket today. So many clothes for such a little body. I took her to Dunkin Donuts yesterday and she ate a donut. I know, she ate crap that I don't want her to eat, but she ate. It's a double edged sword. I can't win. We want her to eat but letting her eat pure crap is another story. It's so hard. Not that I ever thought it would be easy, but this, this is hard.
Some of the advice that I have received ... that's the best. Another day, another post.
3 comments:
Commenting is blogging mystery. Just keep doing what you're doing...
So-called crap food is more than fine right now.
I'm a nineteen year old boy who has dealt with disordered eating off and on since my eighth grade year. I've never gone underweight and I've never been concretely diagnosed, but I still find myself trying to go all day without eating, or eating uncontrollably and so on. Anyway, I have a mother who is emotionally unavailable and I just want to applaud you for being there for her. I think I have advice, but I don't want it to come across like I think what you're doing is wrong and that what I'm suggesting is right. I've never been treated for an ED and I've never really had to recover. I am only in treatment for a mood disorder not otherwise specified. I think that it might make her feel alienated if you make whatever she wants to eat. Knowing that you did all of that for her could make her feel guilty, especially since she's under so much constraint in her head that she can't gobble it up like her body wants her to. Routine is very important for recovery from anorexia, so long as it is not a rigid and/or perfectionistic routine. Keeping things as predictable as possible will help her mind loosen its obsession. As she loosens this constriction, it is important for her to learn healthy coping skills that will help her whenever things are unpredictable or when she is triggered.
If you just go about meals normally and encourage her to eat without alienating her, she will eventually feel more inclined to eat more and more, I think. I know that when I'm starving, I have an easier time permitting liquid calories for myself than solid. Emla or PediaSure are drinks that can help her body kind of insulate itself. I drank it as a child because I had hyperthyroidism and it doesn't taste bad. It's like milk.
If you're ever having a heart to heart with her, you may want to bring up how inefficient puking is. I don't know this for fact, but I hear you don't lose weight from puking. I do know that the acid your stomach is horrible for your teeth--I have to get four teeth pulled in December because they are too brittle, partly because of my purging. It also causes acne/sores that look like acne to develop on your chin. Puking out my food does help me feel a sense of relief, but I've learned to get that same sense of relief by doing lots of things that make my body happy, like drinking water or eating spinach leaves.
I hope there was some help there. I will keep you in my thoughts. Also, I think that lady saying she would pray for you for not sending your daughter to church was kind of a snob. "You don't share my opinion? That means you are in desperate need of some enlightenment. Have my prayers." On top of that, a new social setting, a church none the less, could quite likely trigger her. I am so sorry that she is going through this at such a young age, where life is scary enough without the added horror of an eating disorder.
What cannot be denied is that there is will-power in every anorexic person. That is energy that you can help her learn to direct to things that are more beneficial.
I wish you all the best!
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